Oh come ON!
My morning today was too ridiculous not to share. Yes, I live a parallel life in a Steve Martin movie. I submit exhibit A:
Sunday morning, 6 am, alarm goes off and I groggily get out of bed. Bonus: I have no voice from a week of strep throat but no biggie. I let the dog out and start the water for my hot tea and go back to the bedroom to get dressed. I get my bra & jeans on and realize all my crew shirts are in the dryer. Bonus: my kids are gone, so I can streak through the house to get one! Woot. As I pass the kitchen window I realize my dog is not where he should be. The new house has no fence, so he’s on one of those screw into the ground leads - but due to the last lawn mowing, it’s not been put back in the ground! The dog hasn’t realized it yet but will quickly so I evaluate my options. I figure that it’s 6am on Sunday and there are trees bordering my entire yard so I go for it - run outside to grab the dog wearing just my jeans and bra. The dog realizes that he’s free as I get to the door and he starts to run, dragging the lead behind him so I dart as quick as I can to grab the end of it as he goes by.
Only when I hit the grass off the edge of the patio, I totally wipe out in the wet grass. I mean it was like a cartoon! My legs flew out from under me and I landed flat on my back and knocked the wind out of me. So I’m laying there, gasping for air, wondering if my tail bone is broken, half naked, trying to figure out what to do next. I can’t call for help - I have no voice, I can’t move, I can’t breathe. I did, however, manage to grab the dog so all in not lost.
After a minute or two, when I realize I’m not broken and can breath again, I start to laugh. I mean, what else can you do?? It’s 6am on Sunday morning and I’m laying flat on my back, half dressed in the back yard laughing like a loon.
It’s gonna be a great day.
