Strange Days
We are in the new house and settling in. It’s beginning to feel like home - the dog has found his favorite new napping spot as have the cats. The children love their new rooms and I love the spaciousness of the house. I love sitting in the living room on the world’s ugliest couch (that we inherited) and looking outside. It’s such a peaceful place.
Yesterday morning before the children were up, I was sitting on my front porch, drinking my tea and I had this wave of calm come over me. I don’t miss him anymore. It took 6 months to get to a place where I don’t think of him often and even now, there’s no hurt & anger, even the sadness is gone. All that is left now is curiosity - I wonder if he is ok. I hope he is. He’s an extraordinary man with so much to offer, I hope he finds what he needs and I am grateful for all the ways that I am better because of him. And still it is a strange thing to have him gone from my head.
I am eager to finish unpacking and I there is still much I want to accomplish here - now that I know what I want to do with the kitchen, dining, mudroom area, I’m really excited about it and want to tackle it. But it will have to wait for July when there are children gone at camp and I have caught up on the bills. But I am eager and excited about the future here in this lovely, peaceful place and for someone who enjoys the lights and sounds and chaos of things, it’s a strange thing to feel so at home in this idyl.
I am so glad that I had this vacation, even if it was a working one. Being able to focus solely on my home and family for this brief time has refreshed and revived me.
