Practical Magic

Four years ago this fall, I made a bold choice. I was terrified, but knew it had to be done. I pulled my kids out of the public school system and began homeschooling them. Keep in mind that I’m a single mom, working a full-time, high stress job at a non-profit. That means I’m chronically short of time and money and energy. To add homeschooling to my todo list looked (and felt) like a really unrealistic and foolish proposition. 

People thought I was crazy. Peers, co-workers, even family (I’m sure) thought I’d gone off the deep end. I wasn’t entirely sure that they weren’t right. But I knew, without a doubt, that if I didn’t get my son out of the situation he was in, it would kill him. Not physically, but emotionally. His heart was in severe danger and my only reaction was “not on my watch.”

When I began thinking about homeschooling, I started talking to people - home-school mom, grownups I worked with that had been home-schooled. I scoured websites, learned everything I could about curriculum, about learning styles, about educational philosophies. Frankly, everything I read and heard discouraged me. I didn’t have the money for curriculum or the time to find everything online for free.

But then my son said he wished he’d never been born. His heart was breaking and I was letting it happen. I removed them the next day.

I’m not going to lie, the last three years have been incredibly difficult. I haven’t been the best or most consistent teacher but my kids have learned so many things that they never would have in the system. Confidence. Security. Politics. Critical thinking. Creativity. Economics. Time Management.  Faith. We’ve read together, shopped together, cooked together, paid bills together, run together…and what they learned is that they can do anything. More than not, my ‘teacher’ answer was “I don’t know, lets figure it out.” We have the internet and the library and YouTube. The answers are out there and they know how to find them. They know how to sift through the information and evaluate it. They know how to synthesize facts and create theories and opinions. They know how and when to challenge authority and when to let it go. They know how to recognize and reject mediocrity. They are brilliant.

They suck at spelling and multiplication and they can’t tell you who we fought in the War of 1812, but you know what? I’m alright with that. Those are things that they can easily look up or calculate.

This fall, we made another huge change. I saw them off to school for the first time in 4 years. My oldest entered high school and my youngest, middle school. This befuddles the homeschool community, most of whom are quite anti-traditional school. I know it looks like maybe I caved and couldn’t handle it anymore. The opposite is true - I would have done it as long as needed. But it was no longer the best and healthiest choice for us. The kids, now stronger and more grounded than they were before, need friends. They need activities. They need to begin the journey to separate from Mom and be independent people. They need to know that they can do it and that I believe in them to conquer. And I need to stop correcting and just cheer. We need home to be a soft place to land as they begin to make their way in the world.  They can handle whatever life throws at them now because I had the courage to do what no one said I should. 

Please hear me when I say that I’m not writing this to pat myself on the back - heavens no! If you know me, you’ll know it’s not true. I’m saying it to remind you that you can do what needs to be done. You can. Think outside the box, don’t let others tell you what’s smart or what’s possible. Yes, seek wise counsel and cover it all with prayer. Listen to God and trust what He’s telling you to do. You can do it.